


Lalochezia

by klepto_maniac0



Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-01
Updated: 2017-02-01
Packaged: 2018-09-21 07:18:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9537617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klepto_maniac0/pseuds/klepto_maniac0
Summary: The use of abusive language to relieve stress or ease pain.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [siobhane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/siobhane/gifts).



The reception hall was bordering on suffocating between the summer humidity, the number of guests inside, and the cloying scent of hundreds of cut flowers, and Laguna found himself outside despite having paid for the whole thing. Well whatever, it was all worth it as long as Ellone was happy: the least Laguna could do after leaving her along for so many years was make sure she had the wedding of her dreams. Fortunately there was no one on the balcony outside the Presidential Palace’s ballroom at this moment, so Laguna all but ripped open the neck of his long formal robe and flapped the ornate fabric like he could propel himself into the air with it. It wasn’t until he heard a snort that Laguna realized he was not alone, which made him whip around in awkward shock.

 

“Hey,” he all but croaked to Squall Leonhart, Commander and long-lost son, who was sitting in the shadows and way too well-hidden in his SeeD uniform. The first thing Laguna noticed that Squall’s jacket was open and that he’d probably come out to escape the heat too. The second thing Laguna noticed was that Squall had a glass of something in his hand and that it was likely alcoholic by the way it stuck to the sides of the cut crystal when Squall gave Laguna a faintly sarcastic salute.

 

“Hey,” said Squall flatly. As always, Laguna winced at the sound of Squall’s voice. It wasn’t just that he sounded like Raine, but rather that Laguna could hear how… Well, _inhuman_ it was. It was the flat robotic tone of someone disconnected from humanity, which was no great surprise since Squall had been raised in the Garden since age six… Because he hadn’t had a family…

 

_“Because I didn’t know to look for him.”_

 

It had been two years since Laguna had learned of Squall’s existence and in all that time, they hadn’t spoken more than maybe fifty words to each other. Once the madness of Time Compression was over, there had been no reason for them to talk… Really. They had nothing in common except Raine and Ellone, and since Raine was dead and Ellone was happy to talk to both of them separately, that was that. So most of the time Laguna honestly forgot he had a son. It wasn’t hard to. He hadn’t known of Squall’s existence for over 17 years, so it wasn’t like Squall was on his mind in any concrete way.

 

And yet the cold, sharp look Squall leveled at Laguna made the older man realize that he had been on Squall’s mind more than either of them had expected.

 

“So…” Laguna rubbed the back of his neck, which was suddenly damp with cold sweat. “Uh… How’ve you been?”

 

“Busy.”

 

“Yeah… Me too. Running a country and all that, you know… Heh. Uh… How’s Rinoa?”

 

“We broke up.”

 

Laguna’s insides clenched. This was not going well at all. Par for the course, he supposed, but no easier to stomach.

 

“That’s…” Laguna had no idea what to say. “I mean…”

 

Squall rolled his eyes. He had a very effective eyeroll, one that packed an incredible density of scorn, dismissiveness, and the essence of ‘whatever’ into one very economical motion. Laguna cringed again.

 

“Laguna, don’t hurt yourself,” said Squall, emotion finally entering his voice. Unfortunately it was irritation. “Pretending you give a fuck about me or my life is insulting to both of us.”

 

“What the—” Shock and outrage stole Laguna’s logical words, resulting in him yelling, “You watch your language!”

 

“Sorry _dad_ ,” said Squall, his eyes glittering. “Oh wait… That title has to be earned. I suppose technically Cid Kramer’s more of my father than you are.”

 

It was like charges went off under Laguna’s scalp, coloring his vision red. There were few people Laguna sincerely disliked or hated, but Cid Kramer with his curriculum of turning innocent little kids into bloodthirsty killers definitely made the grade.

 

“You’re not a son to him, you’re a soldier!”

 

“I’m not a son to you either,” Squall retorted, making Laguna flush dark red. “Or have you forgotten you haven’t said shit to me in almost two years?”

 

“You haven’t said anything to me either!”

 

“I didn’t accidentally create you. And I don’t see any reason why I should pay any attention to someone ignores me either.”

 

“I don’t ignore you!” Laguna exclaimed, but the words sank like arrows into his gut.

 

Squall snorted and took another drink of whatever was in his glass.

 

“How drunk are you?” Laguna asked, narrowing his eyes.

 

“Not drunk enough to play nice with you. Even if it would make Sis happy.”

 

Laguna couldn’t say anything to that. It was true that him and Squall getting along would make Ellone very happy indeed, but she didn’t seem to understand that they just… They just…

 

“Look,” said Laguna, trying to gain some sort of ground. “I’m not going to fight with you. Not here, not now. It’s Elle’s special day and I’m not going to ruin it for her.”

 

“Oh, of course not,” said Squall, his voice suddenly going as dangerously soft as a snake’s warning hiss. “You’d never do anything to hurt your precious Elle.”

 

Laguna glared. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

“How are you still such a moron at your age?” Squall asked, practically dripping disgust. “I saw you run all over the world to find your sweet little Elle, but you can’t even pick up the phone to call someone who can take care of himself.”

 

_Oh_. “Well, the reason I don’t call is because I knew things would turn out like this!”

 

“Things being like this is why you should have called a long, long time ago.” Squall finished off the last of his drink and stood up, eyes almost glowing with a depth of hurt and hatred that took Laguna’s breath away. He hadn’t looked nearly so furious the last time Laguna had really talked to him two years ago. Back then, even with everything going on, there’d been so much of a lost child in his gaze that Laguna had had to turn away. It was one thing to give his all for someone who needed him, but facing someone he’d failed so badly for so long… Where could he even start? What could he even say?

 

In any case, the lost child was gone now, matured into a bitter, poisonous adult in the blink of an eye. Or so Laguna told himself, stubbornly and desperately.

 

“It’s _so_ easy to love someone who adores you,” said Squall, fastening his uniform back into SeeD-standard, and every done-up button seemed like the tightening of armor straps. “Which is why Sis never tells just how pissed she is at you, because she knows damn well that if she’s anything other than your perfect little Elle, you’ll cut her off too. She doesn’t understand she’d be fine without you. But I figured it out. More than once.”

 

“Shows what you know!” Laguna shot back. “She’s not angry at me! I walked her down the aisle!”

 

“She doesn’t have to be angry at you to be disappointed in you,” said Squall, his eyes as hard as flint. “You know what she would like more than all this ridiculousness you put on?”

 

“Hey, she wanted—”

 

“She wanted us to get along,” Squall said loudly, making Laguna sputter. “She wanted us in the same place at the same time so we’d magically get over the fact that you find it easier to care about people you never have to be accountable to. But you know what? She still loves me when I don’t do what she wants, which is why I love her back. That’s what you and Rinoa have in common, you know, you can’t love anybody who doesn’t behave exactly the way you want them to…”

 

“What do you want out of me, Squall?” Laguna demanded, keeping his heated voice just under a shout. “Look, I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for Raine—believe me, I have been sorry about that every day for the past nineteen years! I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you were growing up! I wish things had been different. If I’d known, I would have moved heaven and earth to be with you. But I can’t change those things, Squall.”

 

Squall gave him a look of baffled disgust, no less piercing for the alcohol flush across his cheeks. “I know you can’t.”

 

“Then—”

 

“Haven’t you been listening to a goddamn thing I said?” Squall fastened his last button with a snap that seemed like it would tear the combat-ready fabric of his uniform. “I’m not angry about stuff that happened in the past, Laguna. I’m _fucking furious_ over how things are now. And after talking with you, I don’t see any reason why I should even try to make things change. See you at your funeral. Maybe.”

 

“Squall—”

 

“I’ve spent enough time away from the Garden anyway,” said Squall, seemingly half to himself. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he shook his head and muttered something unintelligible before walking back into the ballroom. There was a suspicious glitter around his eyes that he shook out with a sharp, hard shake of the head before vanishing into the sweltering panopoly of people within, and once again Laguna could not go after him.

**Author's Note:**

> Ported over from my tumblr.


End file.
